Somewhat reluctantly more professional

Kind of the elephant in the room lately--that I just haven't gotten around to addressing here--is that I went back to work in insurance software. My interests have always been split between the creative and the technical. Maybe I was leaning too hard toward photography and hitting my limitations. Or maybe the fun started to go away when I tried to make money from it. Or maybe I never gave this whole decision that much thought. I was recruited by a consulting firm and I had to give it a try.

Here's the thing: I only signed a three-month contract at this point, and I'm already a month into it. There's no guarantee that both parties will want to continue after mid-August. I'll admit having a job again is making life more stressful. We've already had some rough days. Yet, it still seems worth it. We were getting by financially before, but a second income sure helps in paying Montessori tuition, taking nice vacations, making upgrades to the house, etc.

I had almost two years at home with Omri (and really it was more like three because for one year I only worked during his naps). It went fast, but that was a significant amount of time. We bonded. Look at all the Old Red Car videos and the craft projects and the countless, undocumented hours we spent playing in our Lego/Hot Wheels universe up in his room. It was great but also challenging in its own way. I wasn't appreciating my time with the kids as much and was usually looking for opportunities to do things without them. I wouldn't say I was unhappy with the situation by any means, but I do feel like I can approach fatherhood more refreshed when I'm not with the kids quite so much.

Omri is also very sociable--much more than me--and I think he enjoyed finishing off the school year with full days there. It meant lunch with his friends and recess outside. This summer both kids are home with a nanny, so they are still getting a relaxing break from the daily routine while still getting around town, meeting up with friends, going to parks, etc. I'm feeling relieved to not be the one in charge of occupying them anymore (yet also a little left out of the fun).

I will miss the extra time for photo/video projects. Don't get me wrong--Moon Lake Multimedia is not closing up shop. But I will be more selective with what I projects I take on. I did two family shoots in the last couple of weeks, and I'm not actively seeking more at this time. For one thing, I want to keep myself freed up enough to work on a new short film. Those have a way of accompanying my life changes. I'm hoping to shoot this newest one around the end of summer.

I don't know for sure if this is a better balance or a worse one. The biggest difference from the last time R and I were both full-time is that I'll be working from home now, and that helps a lot. I don't have to leave before the kids are up in the morning.

I'm realizing there are no single solutions or final answers on how to live a life. It's ever-evolving. There's nothing wrong with mixing things up once in a while and trying something new--or something old again. I feel more positive about the new situation now than I did when I first accepted the job. This could be a really good thing for us.